Another day... another bungled assault case

Good grief... For the second time in as many weeks, wanna be policewoman Flabby Farcia has screwed up yet another case. I'm beginning to understand why Chief Dilbert doesn't want his sergeants taking calls. Maybe he's smarter than we thought. 

No. He isn't. 

Because if Dilbert were smarter, he'd have placed her on administrative leave pending an investigation into the last case she fucked up. You remember, the one where Farcia let a transient who ran over a woman then fled the scene get off with a citation and a smile. Heh, I said "get off". Which is probably the only thing that Farcia and Dilbert think about. Seems like it was only last week, but it was actually 10 days ago that we were hearing the news of her massive level of incompetence. Statistically, this has got to be something of a Guiness Book of World Record setting fuckery. I wonder if they keep track of such things? I'm gonna call and ask. If they don't, this would be a great time and place to start. 

Details are still trickling in to our bat cave, so we will update this breaking story as we get more info. Rumor has it that Dilbert has sent Farcia off to some special "training", not sure if that's code talk for a romantic get away for the two of them. I hope they get a room with one of those sweet heart shaped bathtubs! Then maybe they can use it to soak off some of their combined fluid excretions and come back to the Q not smelling like a 14 year old boys unwashed sheets. 

As a citizen of this Town, I'd kind of like to know why we are paying this obviously incompetent sergeant 50k a year to do little more than service the Chief. It's abundantly clear that she is just another liability for this liability laden town. Let's hope our prospective new insurance companies aren't catching wind of these constant screw ups. Heh, I said "screw". 

It seems to me that if we are stuck with the Chief (which we seem to be since our council and interim town manager have major boner for him) it would be far more cost effective to pay a hooker on the days he needs to inflict some Viagra induced lovin on someone. Granted, that would be both cruel and unusual punishment for the hooker, but at least we wouldn't have to pay her a fat salary, health insurance, and retirement benefits. On the upside, unlike Flabby Farcia, the hooker wouldn't be forced spend hours on end at the Eatery. So, you know, that's a pretty good selling point.