But simply put, there is no simple solution to the problem in Quartzsite. I have to wonder if Quartzsite was built upon an Indian burial ground. And just for fun, the early settlers dug up the bones, pissed on them, and buried them upside down. That seems the most logical answer to why this place turns people batshit crazy. Are they crazy before arriving in this shithole? Or does the heat, terrible living conditions, atrocious water, or proximity to other whack ass crazy people turn otherwise normal individuals into raving psychos?
These are the questions we will be asking, and hopefully finding some answers to in upcoming episodes of..... Genital Hospital. Meh, thats no good, we don't have a hospital here. All My Crazies. No, wait, The Old and the Listless. Wait, I have a better one! The Old and The Witless.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner! The Old and The Witless it is! Tune in as we discuss the buffoonery of Terry Fraudsto, Laura Bluto, Mark Forgeron, Dingbat-Pat Flanderson, Mike No-Wit, Vile Kiss and Ruh Ruh Ron Bones, Jerry Pukerson, Hef Dilbert and his mistress Flabby Farcia, Sgt. Slim Boltz (at the first sign of trouble, he bolts away as quickly as possible), Fartin Braggin, Mike Sloth, Raid (someone please get a giant can of this) Jones, and a vast collection of supporting characters.
The next episode will be discussing Bluto. To get you in the proper mindset, here is something fromWikipedia to entertain you while you wait- "Bluto is generally portrayed as of low intelligence, typically acting without thinking and utilizing brute force, which often signals his defeat at the hands of Popeye". Who is going to be Popeye in our story? Put your thinking caps on.
The Old and The Witless is brought to you by the letter H. You can't spell "How the Fuck Did I End Up in Quartzsite" without the letter H. It's a fact. That's called science people, look it up.
