Fuck Yeah!

People of Quartzsite! We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Quartzsite Common Council members are pussies. And Laura Bluto is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit! 

Credit where credit is due, I may have lifted some (if not all) of this quote from Trey Parker and Matt Stone. If they knew anything at all about Quartzsite, they'd totally approve. Peace bros, I love you guys.